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An estimated 2-minute read

Legal factories known as "Law Firms"

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Hello my fellow lawyer friends...I would like to introduce myself as a corporate lawyer from Mumbai. For the time being I am Mr. "X" and my law firm is "Y"


(By the way I must admit that corporate lawyers are like dentists who proudly call themselves as doctors...now common....... if I have dysentery will I go to a dentist to get myself treated...similarly corporate lawyers rake in huge sums of money by producing documents out of thin air by the hour without even stepping in to one of the courts ever in their lives. I consider also corporate lawyers the biggest enemy of our environment. You should see them wasting paper through the sheer volume of printouts coming out of the office printers.)


Any sensible lawyer would agree with me that law firms are not just mere offices existing on this planet dispensing legal advice to hapless clients but they are akin to factories churning out unproductive legal advice to fill their own coffers.


Let me explain........ First the senior partners or the managing partners would like to have a fancy address for their "factories" (read law firms). They make mental boundaries and the location of their office. Anything beyond that boundary is considered as down market to these "factory owners". Believe it or not that there are fierce rivalries amongst factory owners when it comes to the location of their factories.


Secondly... the level of fanciness in your "factory”. The decor of the factory has to be of certain quality. If you happen to be one of the unfortunate souls to be in that office for legal help and if you see a fancy office just walk out of the door....or else next time you see a Persian rug underneath your feet you will know that it came from your pocket.


Third comes that bitchy yet hot receptionist.........I still haven’t been able to figure out how so many of these law firms get hold of them. I mean is there some kind of an institute where they get hold of these bitchy receptionists who give their plastic smile every now and then.



Last but not the least the “factory workers” or the work force of the law firm. Those sharply dressed individuals who are there to solve your legal problems or to complicate them so that they can have a fancier office and earn a fat bonus at the end of the year.


To me law firms are like the “chakravyuh” from Mahabharata. There is a way to get in but no way to get out. I remember there was this poor lady who came to our law firm “Y” to seek legal help after her husband died. I am sure she will never ever see a lawyer again in her life. My boss “Z” sucked out whatever little money she was left with after her husband’s death. There were so many “manufactured” litigations that I am sure she repented her decision of coming to a law firm.


Then there was this company who came to us for a transaction. I am sure those poor guys must have filed for bankruptcy by now because we ate up their profits and sucked them dry. Our calculations for billing hours were more complicated than calculus and the toughest of mathematics known to man.


This is just the tip of the iceberg.....will come up with my postings more often to show how these "factories" are run......

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