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An estimated 4-minute read

KIAN GANZ'S new bicycle and LegallyChina.com vs. LegallyIndia.com

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Here is the big news: Kian Ganz, the editor of LegallyIndia.com has bought for himself a shiny new bicycle. I asked him why and he didn’t reply. So I had to guess. Here are a few options. All lame options. Please choose the lamest option and post your answer as a comment. I will be grateful.

a.)    Kian is a big fan of Rabindranath Tagore. Where ever Kian goes he wants to go with a ‘head held high’. Sadly, he has had to travel a lot in Taxis which have resulted in the back bending disease called Cervical Spondylosis^. Why? Because at 6 feet, 8 inches# Kian is too tall to sit in a Taxi. He has to stoop. So he thought it better to buy a bicycle and roam around with a head held high.


b.)    LegallyIndia is hugely popular. Everybody reads LegallyIndia.com. But LegallyIndia is making very less money and Kian is now poor. To overcome the stress he bought ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’. Taking inspiration Kian too sold his Ferrari and bought a bicycle. Poor Kian.


c.)     Kian plans to grow strong leg muscles. He wants to kick the spammers and the ugly comment makers of LegallyIndia hard. Really hard.


d.)    It’s not about the bike. Kian’s journey back to life. After coming in touch with various mystical occult practices in India, alternative religions and psycho texts, Kian was forced to introspect and decide what his true calling was. “Cycling”, said the inner voice.


e.)    Kian plans to run for the most successful green Start-up of the Year. Now actually LegallyIndia causes a lot of pollution. It is estimated that insanely excited, baffled and worried readers of the nasty, lame comments and blogs at LegallyIndia emit, while exhalation, poisonous gases in great amounts of great toxicity**.


Now, LegallyIndia is a very successful start-up (though it is not making money, or at least, Kian does not want anybody to know about the money making bit). But how does it prove it is ‘Green’ when it is actually polluting. And Lo! Kian had an idea. He will cycle. Cycling is green. Even LegallyChina will be so very green. Other colours (red?) will fall flat on their face.


f.)     Kian has been reading too much on the Rin v. Tide, competitive advertising related legal controversy. He decided to use both the products for himself. He didn’t like any. He tried ‘Wheel’ and found it perfect. Now he is the brand ambassador for ‘Wheel’. Cycling is one of the ways his company had asked him to promote the product.


g.)    Kian plans to launch LegallyChina.com. Now Kian is legendary for immersing himself in the culture of whichever country he goes to. Just after weeks of landing on Indian shores, he learnt many Indian words. Shaadi was one of them. Speedy Shaadi was the title of one of his newsletter. If rumours are to be believed* he plans to marry an Indian lady. Sorry for the digression.


So yes! He immerses himself in the culture. Now everybody in China cycles to work. So Kian, keeping in view of his further business plans bought a shiny new bicycle to plan for the China detour and immerse himself in the ‘Chinese way’ to move about streets.


Another thing: If you see Kian on a bicycle in Mumbai with earphones on, be brave. Snatch those earphones and listen to what he is listening too. Ten times out of nine it will be ‘Beginners lessons on Chinese’ from ChinesePod.com (btw, this is a useful website).


^ If any rich orthopaedic is reading this and would like to loosen his purse strings please contact blogging[at]legallyindia.com. I have heard too fat a purse can lead to back pain? Is it true?

*Please don’t believe rumours. The belief is false too.

**Are you too stressed? Get yourself a toxicity test.

#I have used the poetic device of exaggeration. But still, Kian should be around 6 feet 2 inches.


PS- please do post in your answers.

a.)    Tagore- head held high

b.)    Kian is now poor- he sold his Ferrari and bought a bicycle

c.)     Strong leg muscles to kick the spammers hard

d.)    It’s not about the bike: journey back to life

e.)    Most successful ‘green’ start-up

f.)     Rin v. Tide. Oops! Wheel

g.)    LegallyChina.com

PS- if you felt that the post was lame; yes, it was meant to be that way. Thank you!

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