DAY ZERO

Hello!

Respected and not-so-respected members of the legal fraternity, tolerant law students and other vela people who have taken time out to read this blog.

I am not a seasoned blogger like most people on this site. I have been a freeloader of entertainment from Legally India and I think it is time to give something back. Therefore, I request you to bear with my ignorance of usual blogging courtesies and manners. I promise to be a quick learner. 

I am CheapAssLawyer. As my name suggests, I am a Cheap Ass Lawyer. I cannot reveal my identity for I have been sent to this planet on a secret mission to serve and to please. And to be Cheap while I am at it. I have read a lot of blogs on life in law schools and an equal number of blogs about life in a law firm. But there exists this journey that each one of us goes through. The journey from a law student to a lawyer. This blog is my own take on life as a law student and the transition from there to a "professional" lawyer in a firm. This is by no means a serious account of what happens and is my take on life from the lighter, if not, brighter side.

Day Zero: A trend that has been fast picking up across all law schools in this country. About a couple of years ago, I was witness to one such Day Zero. I believe it is the perfect checkpoint to begin this blog. As I stepped into the final year of five year law school, me and my batch of fellow hopefuls felt ourselves inching closer to what we thought was the fabled "Swayamwar", an ancient Indian practice of selecting one's bride/groom from a host of candidates. We were all decked up, looking our best, to please that recruiter that would make us one among their chosen ones. I couldn't help but make this very same comparison to a Swayamwar as we all walked in to a large waiting room in a single queue. I am sure the recruiters must have been watching from a grand balcony view somewhere on top, already passing judgments. We took our seats in the waiting room and began the wait. We were provided a list of recruiters who had arrived on campus that date. Some of them had already shortlisted candidates whereas the rest of them wanted to interview whoever they found interesting. I was too bored to do absolutely anything at all and a single glance at the list of recruiters that day had me telling myself: "Beta, tumse naa ho payega!"

So I sat down and observed around me. I started to classify the people around me in different categories. Something that I do a lot and you will see that in my future blog posts a LOT. Here it goes:

1. The CV Mugger:

Someone, somewhere told this person to know their CV well. He/she took it as their Bible and decided to mug it up. The only thing that the CV Mugger ever did in law school. Mind you, the CV Mugger mugs really well. I am sure they know the exact word-count of their CVs too. With heads constantly bobbing up and down into their respective CVs (and their neighbour's CV) they are ready for every question that has any relation to their CV.

2. The Confident B*****d:

The Steve Jobs and the Marissa Myers of your batch. These are the folks who would be prepared even for the apocalypse. They know whats coming and they are ready. They don't give a shit whether you are prepared or not. They will talk to you and try to tell you how well they are prepared and how you are pathetic (because how else do you think Steve Jobs was a marketing genius?). This breed is rare but the smallest of their numbers can do considerable damage. Better avoid or face the consequences. 

3. The Needy Ones:

The Needy Ones are all around you. They will come to you begging for help and will convince you that they are in a real sorry state. Guess what?! They aren't. These folks are a step ahead from the Confident B*****ds. These were the folks who absolutely adored Mr.Pink in Reservoir Dogs from the very beginning. Carrying on with the dog/bitch references, if you thought this kind were the cute little Pugs initially, wait and watch them morph into Great Danes and German Shepherds.

4. The Jugaadus:

Gone are the days when Jugaad was a North-Indian term. It has found mass appeal all over India and some people have adopted it as their religion (hereinafter referred to as Jugaadus). The Jugaadus are more involved in figuring out what's going on inside the interview room than actually preparing for the interview. While they are at it, the Jugaadus will try their best to manage some last minute "setting" or "jhol". Even if that setting happens to be knowledge about the interviewer's preferred brand of cigarette or underwear. Jugaadus have consistently scored a 50% success rate at subsequent interviews. The remaining 50% continue their search for better and bigger Jugaad.

5. The Aam Janta:

Contrary to popular belief, the Aam Janta is rare in a law school. You often find them wondering what to do next right in the middle of third year of law school. This feeling often continues till the final year. Yours truly is a proud Aam Insaan. I detected fellow Aam Insaans when our blank faces met each other while waiting before the interviews. The Aam Janta in a law school will try to supplement their Aam CGPA with some Aam Moot Court Competitions, Conferences and Publications. In this struggle, some fail, some win and some end up leaving the Aam Janta category and "promoting" themselves to the above categories. May their souls rest in peace. However, the Aam Janta is known for its never-dying spirit and will get a job sooner or later, if that is what he/she is aiming for. 

6. PPO Scum:

The absolute worst of them all. These are the folks who have already secured a job. Even worse, with the recruiter that has come to recruit that day. They will roam the corridors with the air of a Senior Advocate. They will look down upon you or try to "advise". PPO Scum will try to be friendly trolls too sometimes and they fail miserably at it. So bad, that even the Confident B*****ds would feel like punching them.

These were my observations before I stood up for my interview when my name was called. I could only laugh at myself for I had absolutely forgotten all that I had "prepared" myself to speak. I didn't get any job that day and I am glad that I didn't. There was better to come.

CheapAssLawyer signing off for now. :)