These are but a small sample of some highly obnoxious and hateful messages that male associates (often incels) share on private WhatsApp chats, when a young female lawyer marries an older male lawyer. I know because some male friends have shown such messages to me, when my female friend (an associate) got engaged to an older man (a principal associate). It's worse in the case of High Court lawyers. It's absolutely sick to see grown 25/25-year old men behave in such an immature and insensitive way. Some of them belong to "elite" NLUs where they were exposed to feminist literature, but it obviously didn't make the slightest difference to them.
But let's try to explain a few things first:
1. The vast majority of women associates in law firms get promoted to SAs. Further, women partner promotions have hit the roof in recent years. And if they can't get a partnership the firm they typically get offered one at at rival firm. So why on earth would a female associate want to marry someone for money and security when it is virtually guaranteed for her?
2. Often older men are more mentally mature and that is the reason women find an attraction. As mentioned earlier, 25/26 year old associates still behave as if they are 15-year old school kids, so no one will want to date them.
3. Lastly, age gaps are irrelevant today. Look at some famous examples:
Yes I'm all for acceptance etc. but seriously you cannot make thus judgement from private whatsapp chats, and I'm suprised your "friends" showed them to you. WA is meant for private chats, u can definitely make comments on anything there, who are you, a third party intruder, to judge?? Stay wary of such friends who don't respect privacy.
> Proceeds to generalise and hate on all 22-25 yo males as incels, mentally immature, child-like, 'no one wants to date them'.
> Talks of feminist literature
> Forgets that one of the most mainstream issues of original feminists was that it found vast age and financial differences where the woman was at inferior position to be problematic
> Proceeds to use Bollywood couples of all things to justify assertion
> Is a well educated lawyer and wants people to accept others choices
> Unable to accept people freely expressing some of their discontent in private spaces
I just never understand why it's okay for women to say they like older men because they're more mature and settled in life (qualities many women find appealing and I respect their choice), but a mature man can't dare say that he likes younger women who are innocent and feminine and havent been 'passed around' and who want to rear children (qualities I as a man and many other men find appealing)?
It's a genuine attempt from my end to understand, on an anon forum since this would only cause judging and ostracism if I voiced this in public. IRL, I act like a feminist and support women in their bid to live shitty careless self destructive lives like they want, so as to earn their approval heehee.
What the fuck has this platform come to for a comment like this to be upvoted so many times? The false equivalence between liking maturity and those women who have not been 'passed around', whatever the fuck that means is perhaps the most stupid thing I have read even by the standards of this platform.
By passed around I mean manipulated by several men into sleeping with them without any promise of a future. Many women are so well manipulated that they think they are the ones who want to sleep around lol.
I bow to thee sire, for thou hast dropped priceless pearls of wisdom and insight here. Glory be to thee, for you have made me realise in such few words a concept of such magnitude that I am forever humbled and enlightened.
No I'm not being sarcastic. I mean it. This such an excellently succinct characterisation that it is actually a thing a beauty.
It's always a never ending blame game, so women who don't sleep around are fortunate to not have been tricked by the devil incarnate men and there is no part of free will in getting passed around, your logic is so stupid that it is annoying, and what on earth is promise of future so every female sleeps with the promise of future, lemme tell you the night clubs are filled with men and women looking for one night stands only
I'm tired of people like you lowering the collective cognitive standards of our species. You're a lawyer. Make better arguments. Actually, first make actual arguments. All I see here is a bunch of unsubstantiated assertions, labelling, name-calling and emotional ranting.
I understand what you mean, and everyone is allowed to have preferences in relationships, but not the language you have used, 'passed around' is highly misogynistic.
I read your justification here, and you have generalised that women are 'manipulated into sleeping'. Most do it for choice and in a contractual arrangement. Also your last line is pathetic, you are again generalising all women who engage in such shit.
Also, men do "dare" and say all the time proudly how they 'nailed that chick from xyz' etc, even my own male friends. Its problematic when older men prefer "young younger women" which means below 18- when it becomes pedophilic and consent is violated inevitably plus statutorily. (Epstein, Weinstein)
Also, power dynamic. It is again deplorable for older men/women -partners, mentors to hit on interns, and totally wrong. That cant be your preference because you have a professional power dynamic between the two people.
I like how you started off very reasonable and then somehow found yourself accusing me of pedophilia.
Bro, when a mid 30 guy says he wants someone younger, he USUALLY means someone 5-10 years younger. Which is usually a girl in her early to mid 20s.
I stand by what I said about women who are passed around, nobody wants you, stop living in delusion, the only men who would want to spend their life with you are men who you have beaten down into cuckoldery with Twitter and other social engineering (only talking about heteronormative dynamics here, not qualified to comment on others).
so what you are inevitably saying is that you have the right to prefer a women who is a virgin, without being one yourself. Makes sense who u r single, Major red flag alert.
firstly if a woman is interested in marrying an older man, it is mostly for the greater assets, money, quality of life, maturity etc.- if that's the case, then so be it- but one cannot expect others (men or women) to not express their opinion or not comment on it- because while you may be going for what YOU want, it may not be what or how it SHOULD BE (you can always argue that its your choice and all, but that also means you have a choice that attracts negative view which is wholly out of your control)- so while you may decide to marry a guy who is 4 to 7 years olders than you, please be clear that the world clearly sees why you marrying him and for what (the perks and all)- after all 'pyaar toh ho hi jata hain' so saying its only for love is wrong (especially since modern marriages are not based solely on love but on various factors)
i personally have no problem with people doing this but women who quit their relationships with men who are younger than them or are still in the formative years of their career or job are the most heartless- in that situation, one is not only chasing what one wants but you are clearly inviting criticism and hostile remarks- see you cant have it all- so either man up and support your guy in his formative years or skip the hard work and be ready for some criticism (in the latter case, you would still be rich and happy although ridiculed a little)
quoting bollywood examples is wholly wrong- their lives are so different that one cannot even fathom- i think somebody already called it out on this post
If you've worked in law firm you'd make less ignorant statements than '4 years seniority is trivial'.
4 years is 40% of the time needed to make partner (10 years experience). Your disinformation is reprensible.
Whilst in general 4 years may not be an anomalous gap, this is only because nearly all females marry up (up in the heirachy of resources and power). In the case of law firms, 4 years' seniority is a big difference in resources.
no ya its not the gap but its the fact that elder guys (usually) are well off since they are either coming out of their struggling period or out of it and now starting the next big thing
its a fact that guys reach their maximum potential viability for women in late 20s to mid 30s- during this time you'll find most guys getting married and starting their families- their partners may or may not be younger than them- 1 to 2 years years is not much of a difference but more than that is- difference in terms of maturity, levels of pay, responsibilities (at both personal and professional level)
i absolutly have no comment on gurls marrying people who are 20 years older than them and those of that sort- the thing speaks for itself
I mean if you want to tell yourself a woman left you because the other guy was richer, go for it. But it may help you more to recognise that showering more, being considerate and thoughtful and generally acting like an adult is likely to help you keep your woman.
Wow, if girls marrying guys 4-5 years older is going to be termed as marrying for money, then that's at least 20 to 25% of marriages! Shouldn't a sugar daddy be at least 15-20 years older?
Not really- there is a difference between marrying a 4-5 year old guy (with greater assets and all) and marrying a 10-15 year old guy (having all the luxuries, more than the other guy)- that difference is clear- everybody understands it too
the point im making is something else- hell its not even solely based on women because these days, even guys want a working professional partner who earns good- we all keep it as a consideration- tall, handsome, smart and rich (for guys) and beautiful, kind, smart and rich (for gworls)
also my statement on the point that a girl leaving her man in his formative years for a richie rich guy is actually a gender neutral statement- gurl or guy, the rules apply the same
you maybe right- maybe it would be the girl's fault or maybe it wasn't- but there is no reason to say that i didnt do enough to keep her happy and content (especially without knowing the facts) anyhoo
see its more about preference than what is right or wrong or how it should be- a guy whose gurl breaks up because he doesnt earn enough money or is in the formative years is the one who'll be going through some tough time to get back on feet while the gurl can enjoy in her decision- but is the gurl wrong? or the guy right? can't say because they will be too many variables (such as the equation between them, their family situation etc.)- the issue is that when she leaves for a richie rich she also agrees and opens to criticism for her actions (which is an inherent fundamental right of people to express their discontent with her decision)
my advice: gurls if your man has a busy life or is in the formative years due to which he isnt earning a lot (early litigation for instance), support him (especially if he is a gem) and dont think what will people say- trust me you both will be very happy together and will have a great tale to tell of how you both overcame everything
in case you still decide to skip the struggle and instead find someone who's already made it, he may not value you as much as the other guy would- hell he may also see that why you left your guy for him and that you may do it to him
the world has no ethics or principles. in this world, it takes a lot to stand strong by your ethics and what you feel is right- liars are also truthful and steadfast people are also liars so it becomes hard to understand people thoroughly- moreover, in this social media age where we are bombarded with ideal lives of married couples and relationship couples going on vacations, swimming in money, etc. etc., we all wish for a marriage/relationship with the most beautiful and rich partner who fulfils all our desires- it takes a lot to take a step back and reassess as to WHAT DO YOU WANT?
You're literally saying here that you want a chick to stand by you devotedly while you work your shit out. That's arranged marriage logic. She's got her own shit to work out. If you don't have the time or more importantly the sense to stand by her then why should she be with you. Like women are not here hoping that maybe someday you'll be grateful. For every young woman who found a sugar daddy, there's a sugar daddy who ditched his partner for a hot young thing. Women have their own lives. If you want a partner now, start acting like a good partner to her now. You're not the only 'gem' in the relationship.
Ma'am/Sir i have consistently maintained that this is a gender neutral thing- meaning that the responsibility to support rests not only on the gurl but also the guy- and its a serious issue that many guys dont support their women partners during early stages of their careers (i personally argue that such number of instances are lesser compared to instances where women quit relationship because they dont want to do the hard work- you can argue otherwise)
i cannot completely argue with your sugar daddy part- its not true that they leave their own partners for a young gurl
again you are making some strong personal remarks which is very disappointing- whoever you are, hope you learn to have discussion maturely
"Langur ki haat main angoor"
"His bank balance must be really big"
These are but a small sample of some highly obnoxious and hateful messages that male associates (often incels) share on private WhatsApp chats, when a young female lawyer marries an older male lawyer. I know because some male friends have shown such messages to me, when my female friend (an associate) got engaged to an older man (a principal associate). It's worse in the case of High Court lawyers. It's absolutely sick to see grown 25/25-year old men behave in such an immature and insensitive way. Some of them belong to "elite" NLUs where they were exposed to feminist literature, but it obviously didn't make the slightest difference to them.
But let's try to explain a few things first:
1. The vast majority of women associates in law firms get promoted to SAs. Further, women partner promotions have hit the roof in recent years. And if they can't get a partnership the firm they typically get offered one at at rival firm. So why on earth would a female associate want to marry someone for money and security when it is virtually guaranteed for her?
2. Often older men are more mentally mature and that is the reason women find an attraction. As mentioned earlier, 25/26 year old associates still behave as if they are 15-year old school kids, so no one will want to date them.
3. Lastly, age gaps are irrelevant today. Look at some famous examples:
- Ranbir-Alia: 10 year gap
- Sid-Kiara: 8/9 year gap
- Saif-Kareena :11 year gap.
- Shahid-Mira:13 year gap
So what's the problem???
But when men do it (looking for pretty - slim, fair and hot women) it's considered as Materialistic.
These are double standards.
> Complains about obnoxious and hateful messages
> Proceeds to generalise and hate on all 22-25 yo males as incels, mentally immature, child-like, 'no one wants to date them'.
> Talks of feminist literature
> Forgets that one of the most mainstream issues of original feminists was that it found vast age and financial differences where the woman was at inferior position to be problematic
> Proceeds to use Bollywood couples of all things to justify assertion
> Is a well educated lawyer and wants people to accept others choices
> Unable to accept people freely expressing some of their discontent in private spaces
You must a special kind of genius, ma'am.
Why did you ditch your last boyfriend who was younger than you?
Also, I think you people were in love, I think the only problem was that the guy is in his formative years doesn't earn that much.
Anyway, You and Uncle are made for each other.
It's a genuine attempt from my end to understand, on an anon forum since this would only cause judging and ostracism if I voiced this in public. IRL, I act like a feminist and support women in their bid to live shitty careless self destructive lives like they want, so as to earn their approval heehee.
No I'm not being sarcastic. I mean it. This such an excellently succinct characterisation that it is actually a thing a beauty.
Why, big sister is now persecuting thoughtcrimes?
"It's a false equivalence"
Why?
"It's stupid"
How?
"This platform is awful"
Then leave?
I'm tired of people like you lowering the collective cognitive standards of our species. You're a lawyer. Make better arguments. Actually, first make actual arguments. All I see here is a bunch of unsubstantiated assertions, labelling, name-calling and emotional ranting.
I read your justification here, and you have generalised that women are 'manipulated into sleeping'. Most do it for choice and in a contractual arrangement. Also your last line is pathetic, you are again generalising all women who engage in such shit.
Also, men do "dare" and say all the time proudly how they 'nailed that chick from xyz' etc, even my own male friends. Its problematic when older men prefer "young younger women" which means below 18- when it becomes pedophilic and consent is violated inevitably plus statutorily. (Epstein, Weinstein)
Also, power dynamic. It is again deplorable for older men/women -partners, mentors to hit on interns, and totally wrong. That cant be your preference because you have a professional power dynamic between the two people.
Bro, when a mid 30 guy says he wants someone younger, he USUALLY means someone 5-10 years younger. Which is usually a girl in her early to mid 20s.
I stand by what I said about women who are passed around, nobody wants you, stop living in delusion, the only men who would want to spend their life with you are men who you have beaten down into cuckoldery with Twitter and other social engineering (only talking about heteronormative dynamics here, not qualified to comment on others).
Sounds about right.
firstly if a woman is interested in marrying an older man, it is mostly for the greater assets, money, quality of life, maturity etc.- if that's the case, then so be it- but one cannot expect others (men or women) to not express their opinion or not comment on it- because while you may be going for what YOU want, it may not be what or how it SHOULD BE (you can always argue that its your choice and all, but that also means you have a choice that attracts negative view which is wholly out of your control)- so while you may decide to marry a guy who is 4 to 7 years olders than you, please be clear that the world clearly sees why you marrying him and for what (the perks and all)- after all 'pyaar toh ho hi jata hain' so saying its only for love is wrong (especially since modern marriages are not based solely on love but on various factors)
i personally have no problem with people doing this but women who quit their relationships with men who are younger than them or are still in the formative years of their career or job are the most heartless- in that situation, one is not only chasing what one wants but you are clearly inviting criticism and hostile remarks- see you cant have it all- so either man up and support your guy in his formative years or skip the hard work and be ready for some criticism (in the latter case, you would still be rich and happy although ridiculed a little)
quoting bollywood examples is wholly wrong- their lives are so different that one cannot even fathom- i think somebody already called it out on this post
4 years is 40% of the time needed to make partner (10 years experience). Your disinformation is reprensible.
Whilst in general 4 years may not be an anomalous gap, this is only because nearly all females marry up (up in the heirachy of resources and power). In the case of law firms, 4 years' seniority is a big difference in resources.
its a fact that guys reach their maximum potential viability for women in late 20s to mid 30s- during this time you'll find most guys getting married and starting their families- their partners may or may not be younger than them- 1 to 2 years years is not much of a difference but more than that is- difference in terms of maturity, levels of pay, responsibilities (at both personal and professional level)
i absolutly have no comment on gurls marrying people who are 20 years older than them and those of that sort- the thing speaks for itself
the point im making is something else- hell its not even solely based on women because these days, even guys want a working professional partner who earns good- we all keep it as a consideration- tall, handsome, smart and rich (for guys) and beautiful, kind, smart and rich (for gworls)
also my statement on the point that a girl leaving her man in his formative years for a richie rich guy is actually a gender neutral statement- gurl or guy, the rules apply the same
see its more about preference than what is right or wrong or how it should be- a guy whose gurl breaks up because he doesnt earn enough money or is in the formative years is the one who'll be going through some tough time to get back on feet while the gurl can enjoy in her decision- but is the gurl wrong? or the guy right? can't say because they will be too many variables (such as the equation between them, their family situation etc.)- the issue is that when she leaves for a richie rich she also agrees and opens to criticism for her actions (which is an inherent fundamental right of people to express their discontent with her decision)
my advice: gurls if your man has a busy life or is in the formative years due to which he isnt earning a lot (early litigation for instance), support him (especially if he is a gem) and dont think what will people say- trust me you both will be very happy together and will have a great tale to tell of how you both overcame everything
in case you still decide to skip the struggle and instead find someone who's already made it, he may not value you as much as the other guy would- hell he may also see that why you left your guy for him and that you may do it to him
the world has no ethics or principles. in this world, it takes a lot to stand strong by your ethics and what you feel is right- liars are also truthful and steadfast people are also liars so it becomes hard to understand people thoroughly- moreover, in this social media age where we are bombarded with ideal lives of married couples and relationship couples going on vacations, swimming in money, etc. etc., we all wish for a marriage/relationship with the most beautiful and rich partner who fulfils all our desires- it takes a lot to take a step back and reassess as to WHAT DO YOU WANT?
i cannot completely argue with your sugar daddy part- its not true that they leave their own partners for a young gurl
again you are making some strong personal remarks which is very disappointing- whoever you are, hope you learn to have discussion maturely