Three weeks into this tier 1 law school (top4). I don't feel like I belong here. I joined with so many aspirations and dreams and what not of socialising, making friends and everything. Turns out, nothing's changed from how it was in school. I've always been the left out kid no one really talked to much. Here, the only thing which has changed is that everyone talks in very good english, which I'm not at all fluent in.
But this is not the only reason - the fact that I'm not particularly good at anything and have zero interests or talent makes it worse. All i do is stay in my room and attend classes. People have started doing all sorts of extracurricular activities and sports, moot, ADR etc. I tried to get into adr but no one took me or let me with them, which is also my fault because i never socialise and have no friends. I totally realise that the only reason of my state is me and only me, and I'm not blaming anyone.
I just want to know what do i do? Should I just focus on academics and study all day? And if not that then what? Because that's the only option i seem to have. Will just good GPA land me a decent job?
*three weeks also, i mentioned tier 1 because i switched from USLLS and things were not at all as hard as they are here, and everyone was a lot more inclusive.
I probably know who you are, if I am correct. Try to simply interact. Start with your roommate. Find a friend who is a social freak. Also, merely 3 weeks have passed. Things will get better and eventually fall in line.
A lot of insecurities right there. Let's get to solution
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Turns out, nothing's changed from how it was in school.
Everything has changed. You are now in a great college . Tells me you are good in studies. What have not changed is your inner narrative. The story you tell yourself. 'I m a left out kid, I m not as smart enough'. Dump it. Our inner critic is a harsh person. Silence it.
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everyone talks in very good english
Another insecurity. By your post, I can see that your grammar and punctuations are spot on. You dont need more than that to become a competent lawyer. Law is a set of principlies. Don't worry.
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the fact that I'm not particularly good at anything
How do you know that? You write well, are above 5'3, and dress like a cute minion. Why do you think you are not good at anything? Not even making maggi ? Take the peer pressure off !
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and have zero interests or talent makes it worse. All i do is stay in my room and attend classes.
Zero Interests ? Come on, we all love Spiderman or Harry Potter or maybe that nerd girl with pony tail in your class? And Zero Talent ? Well, you know no one expects you to be shawn mendes of your class. Be very competent in your area just that it.
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People have started doing all sorts of extracurricular activities and sports, moot, ADR etc. I tried to get into adr but no one took me or let me with them
People have started doing all sorts of extra-curricular . Hm. another insecurity. Feeling Behind. Comparing. See, everyone i know is interested in something. For me it is law , poetry , music , design. Try to find people with similar interests and it soon becomes a group of 4- people. Ease the pressure off man. Goof up. Think what you did on weekends as a child . Did you paint ? Did you dance ? Did you race ? Did you cycle ? What was it. ?
[quote]I tried to get into adr but no one took me or let me with them, which is also my fault because i never socialise and have no friends. I totally realise that the only reason of my state is me and only me, and I'm not blaming anyone[quote] OOPS . You are becoming very critical of yourself. see, you cant be friends with someone who has an opposite personality.Try to find those 'under the hoodie' - talk to me not dudes (or Girls ;) )
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Should I just focus on academics and study all day? And if not that then what? Because that's the only option i seem to have. Will just good GPA land me a decent job?
You know what ? This the main issue you are so worried. Is it called 'imagining worst case scenarios' . It is one of the common cognitive distortions (you can read on this) . So, what your brain's negativity bias is doing is taking a bunch of negative situations and projecting it in future . The brain does due to our 'selfpreservation' instincts. It is totally normal . Well , now you know it you can take some actions to maybe join some clubs in your university and play some basketball. Right ?
End Note : - You need to learn to protect your mental health, sanity and stress in world of Web2.0-Web3.0
I'm sure the COVID is to blame for the current scenario, you seem like a fairly good person imo. I've also been a victim of being insignificant for others in many occasions and I got over it. I'm planning to learn volleyball once I get done with CLAT. I'm pretty excited tbh, currently I'm prepping for CLAT 23 but I'm fairly confident that this would be the last attempt and for context there will be a 6 month gap after the examinations. I literally get so excited to start learning volleyball once I get over this and be in one of the sports committees that I cannot sleep sometimes, lol. Enough about me, what I was trying to tell you that what you need is passion towards something and I learnt that you don't have so what you can do is ki start consuming some fun content to enlighten and rejuvenate your soul. For instance what inspired me to start playing volleyball is an anime 'Haikyuu!!'. One of my other hobbies is listening to DHH which I got from listening to KR$NA, his lyrical game 🤯. I guess you get the point, apologies if my experiences are a bit too 'childish' for your taste but being mature ain't no fun :)
This is exactly what is happening with me. I'm a first year student in one of the top 3 NLUs and I feel so left out and out of place. People here are socializing and are getting into committees and NGOs. I tried to get in some of them but I couldn't cuz I only know a handful of seniors. I haven't really socialized during the initial days of law school.
If you're feeling depression, you should see a therapist. It always helps to talk to a professional who will give you good advice on how to communicate with others and more importantly with yourself. You appear to be spiraling and creating a very negative story about yourself in your mind. You have the potential to do things. Don't sell yourself short. It is very easy to do so in an environment like law school.
You also are falling into the trap that law school is the world. It isn't. Try to make some time for yourself and do some stuff outside if you can. If you aren't feeling kinship with people around you, you should just join activities in the city and make social circles there.
Try to be less harsh on yourself. Many people are open to you, but the energy you are emitting would dissaude many people from getting close. Calm down and give yourself a hug.
It makes me so sad that someone as young as you has to go thru this.. you don't deserve the exclusion you're feeling. Go easy on yourself and see what you can do. You're being very harsh on yourself, and that's unhealthy. It does no good. Regarding not being fluent in English, you need to realise that it's just a language. And like every other language, you can do stuff that'll help you improve in it.
Yes, you will do just fine if you maintain your academics and do a few average to good internships, considering you're in a tier 1 nlu.
I wish i could give you a big bear hug rn and tell you it's alright.
I don't feel like I belong here. I joined with so many aspirations and dreams and what not of socialising, making friends and everything. Turns out, nothing's changed from how it was in school. I've always been the left out kid no one really talked to much. Here, the only thing which has changed is that everyone talks in very good english, which I'm not at all fluent in.
But this is not the only reason - the fact that I'm not particularly good at anything and have zero interests or talent makes it worse. All i do is stay in my room and attend classes. People have started doing all sorts of extracurricular activities and sports, moot, ADR etc. I tried to get into adr but no one took me or let me with them, which is also my fault because i never socialise and have no friends. I totally realise that the only reason of my state is me and only me, and I'm not blaming anyone.
I just want to know what do i do? Should I just focus on academics and study all day? And if not that then what? Because that's the only option i seem to have. Will just good GPA land me a decent job?
also, i mentioned tier 1 because i switched from USLLS and things were not at all as hard as they are here, and everyone was a lot more inclusive.
All the best!
A lot of insecurities right there. Let's get to solution
Quote: Everything has changed. You are now in a great college . Tells me you are good in studies. What have not changed is your inner narrative. The story you tell yourself. 'I m a left out kid, I m not as smart enough'. Dump it. Our inner critic is a harsh person. Silence it.
Quote: Another insecurity. By your post, I can see that your grammar and punctuations are spot on. You dont need more than that to become a competent lawyer. Law is a set of principlies. Don't worry.
Quote: How do you know that? You write well, are above 5'3, and dress like a cute minion. Why do you think you are not good at anything? Not even making maggi ? Take the peer pressure off !
Quote: Zero Interests ? Come on, we all love Spiderman or Harry Potter or maybe that nerd girl with pony tail in your class? And Zero Talent ? Well, you know no one expects you to be shawn mendes of your class. Be very competent in your area just that it.
Quote: People have started doing all sorts of extra-curricular . Hm. another insecurity. Feeling Behind. Comparing. See, everyone i know is interested in something. For me it is law , poetry , music , design. Try to find people with similar interests and it soon becomes a group of 4- people. Ease the pressure off man. Goof up. Think what you did on weekends as a child . Did you paint ? Did you dance ? Did you race ? Did you cycle ? What was it. ?
[quote]I tried to get into adr but no one took me or let me with them, which is also my fault because i never socialise and have no friends. I totally realise that the only reason of my state is me and only me, and I'm not blaming anyone[quote]
OOPS . You are becoming very critical of yourself. see, you cant be friends with someone who has an opposite personality.Try to find those 'under the hoodie' - talk to me not dudes (or Girls ;) )
Quote: You know what ? This the main issue you are so worried. Is it called 'imagining worst case scenarios' . It is one of the common cognitive distortions (you can read on this) . So, what your brain's negativity bias is doing is taking a bunch of negative situations and projecting it in future . The brain does due to our 'selfpreservation' instincts. It is totally normal . Well , now you know it you can take some actions to maybe join some clubs in your university and play some basketball. Right ?
End Note : - You need to learn to protect your mental health, sanity and stress in world of Web2.0-Web3.0
I've also been a victim of being insignificant for others in many occasions and I got over it. I'm planning to learn volleyball once I get done with CLAT. I'm pretty excited tbh, currently I'm prepping for CLAT 23 but I'm fairly confident that this would be the last attempt and for context there will be a 6 month gap after the examinations. I literally get so excited to start learning volleyball once I get over this and be in one of the sports committees that I cannot sleep sometimes, lol.
Enough about me, what I was trying to tell you that what you need is passion towards something and I learnt that you don't have so what you can do is ki start consuming some fun content to enlighten and rejuvenate your soul. For instance what inspired me to start playing volleyball is an anime 'Haikyuu!!'. One of my other hobbies is listening to DHH which I got from listening to KR$NA, his lyrical game 🤯.
I guess you get the point, apologies if my experiences are a bit too 'childish' for your taste but being mature ain't no fun :)
You also are falling into the trap that law school is the world. It isn't. Try to make some time for yourself and do some stuff outside if you can. If you aren't feeling kinship with people around you, you should just join activities in the city and make social circles there.
Try to be less harsh on yourself. Many people are open to you, but the energy you are emitting would dissaude many people from getting close. Calm down and give yourself a hug.
Go easy on yourself and see what you can do. You're being very harsh on yourself, and that's unhealthy. It does no good.
Regarding not being fluent in English, you need to realise that it's just a language. And like every other language, you can do stuff that'll help you improve in it.
Yes, you will do just fine if you maintain your academics and do a few average to good internships, considering you're in a tier 1 nlu.
I wish i could give you a big bear hug rn and tell you it's alright.