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Pride Month: I'm a Queer Lawyer Practising in Bombay. Ask Me Anything.
@Kian @R Please approve this thread. It may be useful/fun. Also, I'm open to all questioning. Even an offensive line. So if it's approved, gentle request for moderating questions with a light touch.
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- R
I'm just curious to know how coming out to workplace colleagues works, and if it should even be done. I've heard too many horror stories about people being treated badly once they come out. So do you think it should be kept a secret, or revealed (if ever asked about it, or if it ever comes up in conversation)?
Work is largely Don't ask Don't tell as far as private matters are concerned. I always have felt sexuality is on a need to know basis and no one at work really needs to know. But yes with pronouns, I'm quite open and don't like it when I'm called Mr/Ms.
I'm actually lucky to work here I guess.
My question is as follows:
Is it common for gay guys to mistake straight guys for being gay and ask them out on a date? The thing is, although I am straight, I am not into “bro“ things like gymming, binge drinking, “rating” girls in my college, talking about “banging” girls in my college etc. All the guys in my law school seem to behave like that. I’m just wondering if I will be perceived as “gay“ if I don’t do these “bro” things and instead talk about books, music and other nerdy things. Because that will affect my chances of getting dates with girls. Already I have been teased by someone in the batch that I am “gay” because I don’t do things like rating girls and watching porn with them. I would rather read a book, learn how to play the guitar etc.
Also, just because you're not interested in women does not mean you're gay. You could be aromantic/asexual or both. Or you could be straight but demisexual. You are gay only if you are sexually interested in men and not in women at all. An absence of interest in women does not equate to being gay. If people are assuming your sexual orientation, it's just based on backward thinking based on stereotypes. You should tell them you are uncomfortable with it.
That said, on your end, I think you need to be a little more secure in your masculinity. Your comment reeks of self doubt and of insecurity in how you are coming off to others. Don't let this get to you.
Since you are not into "bro“ things like “rating” girls, “banging” girls, can you let me know if you have (even accidentally) thought about “rating” boys, “banging” boys etc?
How did it feel when your phone made the truk sound out loud? :D
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