I was sick today but the guy just does not care. He gives me insane work and that is fine. However, I don't understand why would he shout at someone who is really sick. I can't leave the job rn. My family is really dependent on me. I fail to understand my partner's behavior. I just want to die.
As someone with extreme anxiety, I feel for you. I know being yelled is really bad. I don't totally understand your position because I am a final year student but I did have a rude associate during my last internship at a tier 1 firm who himself was an A0. I used to get anxiety every time he called or gave me work. At one point, I stopped picking up his call. I don't think he was bad but if he could have talked nicely instead of being rude that would have been great. Anyway, I hope you get better soon. Don't forget that you are an A1 at a Tier 1 law firm and that means you totally deserve to be there and shine. Don't ever self doubt for a minute and face this challenge. I know you can't quit so just be strong. To everyone else who is going to read my comment (from first year college students to Partners) please be kind to each other. I know (atleast have an idea) about the crazy deadlines, clients expectations and work pressure but we owe it to humankind to be humble and loving towards one another. I know I sound preachy right now but try to understand what I am saying. Dear OP, take care of yourself. May the force be with you.
Polish up your CV and apply elsewhere asap. Tier 1 job hopping is not that difficult so you should be sorted financially. Get away from this garbage person. Even if you really messed up - you deserve to be treated like a human being and this ain't it.
I took an extra sick day even after I recovered and made my CV and sent it to a rival firm. Good thing is I researched my potential boss well and I now work for a reasonable person. And I'm (relatively) happy.
Die? Just because your partner is rude. You are not weak brother. Apply to some other firm and don't ever let this guy take away your confidence. Remember how bright and intelligent you are to be hired by a T1 firm and you will surely get into another job.
The family may be dependent but they will wish for a happy, living son/daughter instead of a depressed one.
1. Do you have an SA or someone in the team who has been there for a while? I think it helps to talk to them about it. Big problem in WFH is we just sit and wallow in self pity after an episode like this In office these things used to happen, but we would be surrounded by 3-4 other people who will roll their eyes at your partner and just walk up to and say "your partner is a horrible person" "this happened to me also" somehow that makes you feel lighter. I'm not saying what your partner did is acceptable, I'm only helping you manage your emotions.
2. drop an email to your whole team saying I'm sick, gonna switch off my phone as I'm napping / taking tests at a diagnostic center / sorry for the inconvenience. Etc. Put an out of office and then just switch off your phone or switch over to airplane mode. Nap, watch a movie. Mind off the workplace. The world will not crumble. You can switch on your phone after a couple of hours if you're anxious. Likely that they would have gotten the message and the deliverables would have been adjusted.
3. Then, leave your firm. Make sure to call out your boss in your exit interview and tell the Hr that all your batchmates and lawyer friends know about this unprofessional man because he has affected your mental health and well being so much. No one deserves rude behaviour.
4. Finally, make sure your boss's behaviour is widely known in your circles. Through informal chit chats, even jokes about how such and such place is a toxic workplace. In the long run, this will ensure that your boss doesn't get 100 CVs to replace you. The lovely thing about today's market is firms are struggling to hire. I feel perverse joy when I see so many openings in toxic teams. I know why those places are open despite being Tier 1... it is because good candidates research well and ask about work culture. They ask "Ok Corporate team at X firm - who is the partner?" "Mr A is it?Oh not interested". You can offer extra money, but no one is going to put up with shitty behaviour day after day. The teams that are struggling to hire, they KNOW why... People leave managers not firms.*
*Except maybe for CAM. There people who are sticking on are probably doing so for their partners despite the firm!
If you are in corporate practice and currently in Tier I, I can help. Let me know if you are looking to switch - if yes, share your mail. I will get in touch. If things go well, I can assure you a good work, culture and pay.
Don't let this person make you feel this way. No matter what you do, this man is a genuinely awful bully and he is not going to change. Don't give him the satisfaction. Find another job and in the meantime let him scream until his fuse explodes, just don't give him a reaction and frankly don't care. He doesn't control your life. You do. Get under his skin.
Not clear from OP if "partner" means boss giving legal work or boyfriend/husband giving household work. In both cases, the solution is to keep your self-respect on top and give a big FU to him and walk out. Don't be in an abusive relationship with this guy, where in work or in your personal life work. Move on to another job to another guy.
As someone with extreme anxiety, I feel for you. I know being yelled is really bad. I don't totally understand your position because I am a final year student but I did have a rude associate during my last internship at a tier 1 firm who himself was an A0. I used to get anxiety every time he called or gave me work. At one point, I stopped picking up his call. I don't think he was bad but if he could have talked nicely instead of being rude that would have been great. Anyway, I hope you get better soon. Don't forget that you are an A1 at a Tier 1 law firm and that means you totally deserve to be there and shine. Don't ever self doubt for a minute and face this challenge. I know you can't quit so just be strong. To everyone else who is going to read my comment (from first year college students to Partners) please be kind to each other. I know (atleast have an idea) about the crazy deadlines, clients expectations and work pressure but we owe it to humankind to be humble and loving towards one another. I know I sound preachy right now but try to understand what I am saying. Dear OP, take care of yourself. May the force be with you.
I took an extra sick day even after I recovered and made my CV and sent it to a rival firm. Good thing is I researched my potential boss well and I now work for a reasonable person. And I'm (relatively) happy.
The family may be dependent but they will wish for a happy, living son/daughter instead of a depressed one.
2. drop an email to your whole team saying I'm sick, gonna switch off my phone as I'm napping / taking tests at a diagnostic center / sorry for the inconvenience. Etc. Put an out of office and then just switch off your phone or switch over to airplane mode. Nap, watch a movie. Mind off the workplace. The world will not crumble. You can switch on your phone after a couple of hours if you're anxious. Likely that they would have gotten the message and the deliverables would have been adjusted.
3. Then, leave your firm. Make sure to call out your boss in your exit interview and tell the Hr that all your batchmates and lawyer friends know about this unprofessional man because he has affected your mental health and well being so much. No one deserves rude behaviour.
4. Finally, make sure your boss's behaviour is widely known in your circles. Through informal chit chats, even jokes about how such and such place is a toxic workplace. In the long run, this will ensure that your boss doesn't get 100 CVs to replace you. The lovely thing about today's market is firms are struggling to hire. I feel perverse joy when I see so many openings in toxic teams. I know why those places are open despite being Tier 1... it is because good candidates research well and ask about work culture. They ask "Ok Corporate team at X firm - who is the partner?" "Mr A is it?Oh not interested". You can offer extra money, but no one is going to put up with shitty behaviour day after day. The teams that are struggling to hire, they KNOW why... People leave managers not firms.*
*Except maybe for CAM. There people who are sticking on are probably doing so for their partners despite the firm!
No matter what you do, this man is a genuinely awful bully and he is not going to change.
Don't give him the satisfaction.
Find another job and in the meantime let him scream until his fuse explodes, just don't give him a reaction and frankly don't care. He doesn't control your life. You do. Get under his skin.