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An estimated 3-minute read

Secret Body Finally Justifies Law School Rules

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The top secret National Universities of Law Atrocity Coordination Committee NULACC today finally revealed itself and spoke out against students’ excessive demands and expectations. Their spokesperson revealed that the committee felt compelled to respond to ludicrous and ridiculous posts being made by students across social networks and intra organisation emails.

Our country is so full of inefficiency and malpractices that NULACC believes that universities would be doing the students a disservice if they provided them efficient administration. Students should realise that the universities with their draconian rules protect them from future heartbreak. “The Universities are after all state bodies. Imagine the havoc if students started expecting prompt service from government authorities just because they received their moot expense reimbursement within six months in college, like they want.” For emphasis, a member also added, “Indian cricket team was provided with turning wickets just like they wanted. See how that turned out at Eden Gardens and Wankhede.”

A core committee member explained that the universities committed to the aim creating tomorrow's leaders. He said, "Mess food quality is the tool we use to shape future leaders.The food is so bad that the most important leadership skill in India is inculcated: Ability to voluntarily forgo food for hunger strikes!" NULACC is also believed to be lobbying for greater funds should the new Civil Society Party come to power in future.

Ms. Puppet Jabber eloquently justified her decision to extend the minimum girl trousers length from ankle to the tip of the big toe. She said, “Students think we are stuck in historical times but NO; we take into consideration the changing times. After the US invasion the Taliban have moved from Afghanistan to Pakistan! Closer to our college! Shouldn’t we be preparing our female students for a potential Taliban invasion?” A source close to her confirmed that some similar reasoning is used to justify the decision to treat students who hold hands with the members of opposite gender as if they have been caught holding hand-grenades instead!

This ‘Atrocity Coordination Committee’ was formed to help achieve the goal of holistic education. Chairperson Mr. Cutter explained, “Look at the success of our internet censorship efforts. We can proudly state that no law student from any of these colleges shall graduate with a misplaced sense of freedom of expression or choice. We have managed such severe restrictions that upon entering the real world, the students shall not at all be surprised at Police’s overzealous interpretation of the IT Act.” The NULACC has also resolved that upon taking harsh and bizarre disciplinary measures, universities shall not provide any explanation at all, so that the young graduates are not surprised when their elected (or otherwise) leaders don't give them explanations. The process of making law students’ life miserable has been made so comprehensive that coaching classes for the entrance test have now started collecting an additional fee for post entrance test psychiatric counselling since a bizarre entrance test pattern debacle has now been made a recurring feature of the test.

While some efforts such as Talibanisation of dress code and internet censorship have already been uniformly successful, the NULACC now plans to propagate universalise the ‘worst practices’ from areas such mess food quality and curfew timings which some universities have managed to deploy to produce greater misery than others.

Looking at the ongoing trend it seems that the now-no-longer-secret NULACC is well on its course of producing law graduates who have been made miserable enough to firmly enshrine in their minds that Principles of Natural Justice and Individual Freedoms are purely theoretical concepts which should not interfere in anyway with the operation of the great Indian lethargic inefficient state.

Note – This article may seem incomplete because of the 100 comments given we could not print 97 as the ‘impotent’ points made by the learned professors were completely incomprehensible as examples of English speech.
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