Dear Aunty & Uncle. The salaried partner who supervises me is stopping me from progressing in my career. He is competent but I know that I am better than he is technically. But he treats me like a dumb doll, which I’m not. He doesn’t allow me to meet clients and always shields me from the equity partners and barely lets me talk in meetings. What can I do?
Yours, National Law School Victim
Aunty:
Beta, this profession has been dominated by men who are intimidated by intelligent women. It’s up to women like us to change that.
Nevertheless, consider whether there is something you have done to upset him or challenge his dominance, like by pointing out his mistake? In that case, maybe try being more diplomatic in future. And with some men, it is best not to mention their mistakes at all and let them learn by burning themselves.
If the air between you is clear, acquire your territory slowly but don’t be a pushover. In meetings, don’t let him push you aside. Be assertive and unafraid to talk.
If all else fails, try to work with other partners and get yourself noticed by the more senior partners for your talent; write some papers, propose initiatives or do anything else that will raise your profile.
Uncle:
Have you considered that your opinion of yourself might be overinflated? Give me a good obedient GLC pass-out any day over one of the law school grads who think they know everything.
You seem to have a few years of experience but how much do you really know?
Be thankful that he takes you for meetings. Listen, and learn.
------
The opinions expressed by Aunty and Uncle are their own and do not reflect the views of Legally India.
Do you agree with Aunty and Uncle?
What do you think? Please leave a comment below.
In the meantime, Careers Counsel’s Agony Aunty and Uncle are here to answer your legal career questions. Please email your queries anonymously to or or click here.
Photo by Elena Lagaria
threads most popular
thread most upvoted
comment newest
first oldest
first
Hahahahaha. Awesome.
I left the firm.
1. You are good looking and that's why he takes you for meetings but he will never take you seriously.
2. He actually values your legal skills and that's why he takes you for meetings but he's afraid you will make him look stupid.
anyhow.... stand up for yourself... u don't need to be a tattletale. just speak when u need and have some faith in yourself.. at the end of the day it comes down to one thing... do you want to be a follower or a leader
Can you ever really learn to lead without learning to follow?
The problem with you over ambitious and under patient kids is that you only believe in intelligence not experience. It could be that he shields you for your own good.
A. You seem to have an inferiority complex, which requires you to suffix your question with the National Law School tag. Really? Do you just walk around inserting NLS into every other sentence and hope people will be impressed? "Arey, yahan pe chai kitni achi banti hain na.. hamare NLS cafe main tho na....." types?
B. Like another posted pointed out, if you are really THAT smart (chances are, you are really not), please feel free to leave and show the partner what you are really made of?
C. When I started practicing a few years ago, I really felt like I knew more than anyone else at my firm. It took me about 4 deals and 3 years into the profession to realize I knew jack squat. Experience counts in this profession. NLS doesn't mean anything. Nor does GLS. What matters is that you have a good sense of the law and you are willing to work hard and pay your dues (listen to that, pay your dues), follow your seniors and willing to listen.
D. Law School gives you an overinflated sense of how much you know. But, think about it. There are seminal cases being decided all the time, but you only get to read the stuff from a 100 years ago which my dad read while he was in law school. Get it?? So, since my dad and I went through roughly the same curricula, somehow I am supposed to be as knowledgeable about law as he is and I should complain if he treats me like a "doll"??? Think about it, does his 40 years practicing what he learned in school count??
E. Be humble. Even Gandhi was humble. In the big scheme of things, you are nothing but a fly on the wall looking to fly away and perish when the night ends. So, in short just STFU.
Thank you.
But I would not let that come in the way of my view on your supervisor.
Although I agree with everything that others have commented, I also think is quite possible that your boss is insecure. It's very common for young professionals (who are often smarter than their seniors) to face such issues especially in conservative firms... I know because I too faced a similar situation where my senior (who was a female btw) wouldnt let me speak or would interrupt every time I spoke. I quit because I wanted my voice back. But I know many others who choose to stay and each day is a struggle.
Please send me your CV, we like to cheaply hire national law schoolites whose souls are crushed by BigLaw partners.
Kind regards,
A. Partner
That's the reality.
From the partner's perspective, he is right. He's anyways feeling insecure because he also knows that, you are better than him and he will obviously never admit that. If he starts giving you the credit, then he knows that, either you will join a competitor or the client with whom you are dealing with or start your own practice and the clients may follow you. I am sure, he must be even restricting your access to the client, in the best possible manner.
He will even go to the extent of making you feel good by giving you some "Lollipops" (some credit here and there like some toppings), which according to him is enough for you, not realising that, not only money/bonus/increment/incentive is important, but you even need and deserve respect - real respect (he should mean it and not merely say it in words). He should not even play with his words (like a lawyer) while giving you the credit.
It not only depends upon the so-called "HR policy" of the firm (which many may claim to have), but also depends upon the person (the partner).
Not even the partner, but you must have even come across some colleagues who will behave like this and feel insecure because of you being around (in the firm). It can be a very mean and nasty place.
You only have two options - either keep moving forward (if you can and provided he/she allows you to) or just get out of that place. If you move out, they will not even try to stop you because it will hurt the partner's/firm's ego because that is indirectly admitting that, they need you and in way it's a compromise for them, which they will never do.
"Crows are all equally black". It's more about human nature.
It is not you, but it is this partner who should approach his/her uncle and aunty for guidance, but that is provided he realises in the first place that, what he is doing is not good and is actually bad for the organisation. It again also depends on the nature of his/her uncle-aunty who are giving him the guidance and what kind of guidance.
Very rarely you will come across a partner who will allow you to contribute and not consider you as a threat to him or feel insecure and will praise you not even within the firm but outside as well (clients, other professional colleagues). But I think such people are not made any more.
Not everyone knows how to show humility. It requires lot of guts and tremendous amount of mental strength and courage to be humble.
But what you should learn from this partner that, you should not become like him/her wherever you are and whatever your position is. In fact you should thank him for being like that, which has taught all of us a lesson that we should be humble and modest in our dealings with human beings or lawyers :)
One never knows when the tide changes. Law of karma will always prevail, whether anybody likes it or not and, whether anyone believes in it or not.
From a retired aunty.
I totally sympathize with you as i too am going through the same thing. The only caveat here is that i am in line for becoming partner and the partner who is directly above me.. well lets just say, is getting cold feet and hence trying to ensure that i do not ascend. That said, if you are at an Associate level then it is justified because Associates are not required to meet clients or develop business, that is a partners privilege. Keep plugging away and one day you WILL rise!!
Good Luck!!
"Do i really deserve the treatment i get"??
For some reason, I don't see the humour in this at all. Sexism is a serious problem in our workplaces. Please find a better medium to address it. Don't trivialise the issue.
I can feel your pain... have you never been able to laugh at your issues??
This was actually a real email received - we only edited slightly for grammar and spelling. In fact, we get emails asking for advice almost every day, which is why we thought it was worth starting up this column with the more interesting queries.
I think this one in particular is a common problem, often irrespective of gender, although maybe it happens to women more than men.
Aunty & Uncle do not intend to trivialise issues, although they do offer different perspectives on problems. Here, I guess either one might have a valid point.
Best wishes,
Kian
Lol. Exactly ! Kudos !
threads most popular
thread most upvoted
comment newest
first oldest
first