Experts & Views
LSDA: LAW SCHOOL DEFENCE ACADEMY
(A tactical training program to survive at a law school)
LESSON 101: You need to be a damn good lawyer BEFORE you get your degree
"saurabh!!!"
"Saurabh Sharma!!!!!"
"MR. SAURABH SHARMA!!!!!!!" and BANG!!!!
It was as loud as a small blast. I got startled and when I looked, I found a pair of eyes staring at me, a book on my desk and astonished faces of my classmates. Before I could make out what’s going on, he threw a question at me –
"Can you tell me what happened in Mafatlal case?" For a nano-second, I wish he had asked “Can you tell me what was happening in Vegas?” And I would proudly share my dream of partying with my friends in Vegas and winning $ 1 million in poker. It will start a chain-reaction of aww’s and WOWs. But I also calculated the repercussions of all this and instead answered "Sir, its about...hmm..ah….hmm...merger?" I wasn't sure. My friend prompted that its merger but I couldn't hear him clearly. But ya, now the teacher was staring at him. Good for me.
"Thappad padega !!!", he said in his peculiar accent, "stop helping your friend. And you, Mr. Sharma, what besides merger?" Every teacher in this world loves an opportunity to catch a culprit in a class of 70 something and start his interrogation. They start imagining themselves like FBI agents and if you give one wrong answer, BOOM!!, you are gone mister. Case closed.
"Ah...hmm....wo...hmm...I don't know sir." The safest answer of all, coupled with puppy face. Sometimes works with kind-hearted teachers. And if you are a pretty girl, well, you don’t have to do anything. I’m not a girl and he can’t be kind-hearted.
"I expected that. Kal kitni baje tak masti kiya hostel mein. You guys don't sleep whole night and treat classroom as your bedroom. There is no need to come in class if you don't want to listen, why are you wasting your parent’s money. This attitude won't work. Students like you are worthless". He was crossing limits now.
“There is no need to say so much, Sir. You want me to leave the class, I will. I was not watching a movie or playing C.S. I’m going for a moot and we are not getting exemptions. I have been working continuously from past 3 nights and just because I dozed off for a few minutes because all the exhaustion, you are blasting at me, telling me that I’m burning my parent’s money. We have so much pressure. This assignment, that project, moots, mid-sems, publications…and we are trying to cope up with it. There is so much competition and fight, but why would you care about it. I’m leaving the class and you can cancel my attendance if you want.” And with that, I picked my cell and started to walk out of the class. I didn’t give him a chance to say anything and I could see all students staring at him as if saying “So inhumane”.
“Its okay.” I turned to hear what he had to say. “I understand now. You go to hostel and take rest. You will get today’s attendance. All the best for your moots.”
I wasted no time. I walked out, sneaked-in an empty moot-court hall and occupied the last bench to go back into my dreams and enjoy the strip club of Vegas!
MORAL OF THE STORY: Sleeping in class is not bad, getting caught is. But even if you do get caught, don’t give in. You might be able to turn it to your advantage. I was not going for any moots, last night I played C.S., watched Hangover, then went out to find something to eat and ended up playing rounds of cards till wee hours. But I knew I can’t get away telling my teacher all this. So, be a lawyer, get best possible argument and win your case. However, most importantly, tell a lie which is convincing. You can’t claim you were working in library when your teacher met you last night at a show of Jungli Jawani.
CLASS DISMISSED.
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2. You DO NOT pretend to be a mooter if you are not. Respect the hard work of those who do it.
3. No professor reacts like that. Professors would say - "Moots are to be managed in your own time. If you are physically in my class, you must be mentally in my class."
this blog is a waste of space.
1. Don't take whatever written in a blog as gospel TRUTH and it has to be something SERIOUS.
2. I don't think I need your permission to know what to write and what not to. We don't know each other so your judgement is solely based on what you read. I would write an Article for a popular journal if I want to talk about core laws and concepts, I won't write a blog for it.
3. I never conveyed that lying is good lawyering. I have not read the said autobiography but I can say that lawyering is about conviction, self-belief and most importantly maintaining your conscience of right and wrong.
4. And yes, there is no pretense. I have been a mooter. And I believe a good one. I worked hard and dedicatedly towards it and I love the whole thing.
5. Dude cmon!!! Can't a person try to be witty and funny? Just cos I made up some stuff and framed a story around it, doesn't mean you start open fire at me. Telling me its waste of space!! Just relax, there are more and bigger things to worry about. I don't write for the sake of publicity or to get some space. I write because I like it. Not everyone is Salman Rushdie or John Grisham, so just let it be.
6. There is no need to read if you think my blogs are waste. I never asked you to read, did I?
One question: Are you a Professor? Cos you sound like one.
The following points are dealt in seriatim for Mr. Notsolegal EXCEPT wherein specially indicated as for Mr. except....
1. I agree with you that the blog is a lie and it will be wrong if we are taking it seriously. It is just fun content sounding similar to the 3 idiots peeing at their deans house compound wall and sleeping in the auditorium only to wake up and say that " Arre Sir, hum der raat tak padh rahe thhe, isilye yahin so gaye".
2. I agree that we are not writing a research paper or any project here and hence we are not in a wild goose chase of discovering some serious research question or any core idea. ( Reiterate @ Mr. Except..... Dude if you want to read something serious, why not pick up HLR( Harvard Law Review) or even LI Article section for that purpose. No one would write a blog to speak about core laws and concepts. A blog is not the appropriate forum to do that. Neither you can hold Mr.notsolegal responsible for writing your exam paper on a legal concept humourously written on a blog, Make up your choices, man).No one gives and no one takes permission to write a blog on what one feels or what one comments. It is all based ,on how one writes and how he/she perceives it. It is as simple as that.
3. To add to your suggested qualities, I further suggest that Good lawyering is also about experience, we cannot everytime become " Tarikh pe Tarikh, Sunny Deol, the angry young lawyer cum macho man for that purpose". Believe me, I had 2 year one as an Associate for a well named firm. (@ mr. except....I am sure ,There is no book for that purpose, one needs to create one's own autobiography)
4. We believe you that you are a good mooter. I donot doubt your arguing capabilities, for sure I have enough evidence at hand. May God bless you in your arguing capabilities in the Court hall, if any day you plan to argue before any Court, I pray for that to God sincerely.
5.We believe that blogs under the caption " STUDENT LIFE" are for showcasing one's creativity and not as a waste of space. Life is a race and there is lot of CT competition, such blogs are a relief at times. Keep writing dude, I Mmmm loving it.
6. Never act rude to your readers, write to them politely, Sorry for giving you lesson on manners, I know that you donot need one, I know you are not running after publicity but still, they are the ones who keep your HITS numbers increasing.
and thats how it is. I donot mind any influx of comments after my comment. @ All readers , Have fun and Keep commenting.
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